I’m Dana Donnelly, I’m a comedian, writer, actress and alpha GF based in Los Angeles, CA. I came upon the OGBFF universe the way I’m sure many of us have, by being obsessed with hot girls on Instagram. (Hot girls love OGBFF and I love hot girls! Whomst amongst us can’t relate!?)
It’s fall again, bitches, and you know what that means: It’s spooky season and cuffing season. Time to find someone to hitch your wagon to so you can dress them up as your little Halloween doll. I personally am lucky enough to be entering my third Halloween with a reasonably willing beta BF who’s pretty down to go along with whatever couples’ costume ideas I come up with.
(Also, a quick note: The alpha gf/beta bf dynamic is pretty self explanatory in my opinion, but in case you’re confused: GF is alpha, BF is beta. GF is leader, BF is follower. GF is boss, BF is unpaid intern. etc.)
(Another quick note: While alpha gf/beta bf might seem heternormative, it’s really just referring to a vibe. Anyone of any gender can be an alpha gf or a beta bf. You know?)
Couples’ Halloween costumes are generally pretty straightforward interpretations of iconic pop culture couples. Currently, the top Google image results for “couples’ halloween costumes” are an assortment of Shreks and Fionas, Jasmines and Aladdins and Danny Zukos and Sandys. Those costumes however, are for normal couples. Basic couples. Couples in which no one is referring to themselves as “Alpha GF.” Maybe those couples are happier, but their costumes are simply not as interesting. Below are a few ideas and suggestions for couples’ costumes that let the world know you’re in a cool, modern, alpha gf/beta bf relationship.
1.ELLE WOODS AND BRUISER WOODS
The costume I’m most excited to try to convince my boyfriend to wear this year? A Legally Blonde moment in which I am dressed as iconic, pink loving lawyer, Elle Woods and he is dressed as her adorable little chihuahua Bruiser. The implications of this costume? That I am a powerful woman and my boyfriend is merely... a dog. Through the years I’ve seen many girls dress as Elle, opting to use a stuffed animal or their actual dog as Bruiser, but I’ve yet to see anyone cast their boyfriend in the role. I’m hoping this is the year the Elle and Bruiser couples’ costume becomes as commonplace as Mr. and Mrs. Smith or whatever. What better way to say “I’m an alpha GF” than making your boyfriend follow you around wearing a pink leather collar you forced him to buy using his parents’ Amazon Prime account.
2. MIA THERMPOLIS AND JOSEPH HER DRIVER
A core part of my own alpha GF/beta BF dynamic is that my BF is my chauffeur above all. He is expected to drop me off, pick me up, and of course take me through the McDonald’s drive thru at any and all hours of the day. Upon a recent rewatch of the iconic 2000 film The Princess Diaries starring Anne Hathaway, I was struck by the extent to which Anne Hathaway’s character Mia’s relationship with her grandmother’s right hand man and driver Joseph mirrored that of the relationship between myself and my boyfriend. (Mainly in that he drives me around and yeah, he’s pretty nice to my Grandma). As any true alpha gf/beta bf costume should, this duo look conveys beyond a shadow of doubt: “I am a princess, he is the hired help.”
3.SHARPAY AND RYAN EVANS
Okay, so first let’s address the incestual elephant in the room. You’re probably thinking “aren’t Sharpy and Ryan blood related sister and brother.” Yes dear reader. Yes they are. You might also be thinking “Isn’t Ryan gay?” To which the internet would say “yes” and to which the Disney Corporation would say “depends who’s asking.” However, for Halloween couples’ costume purposes we are going to gloss over both these facts and focus on this duo’s core dynamic which is that Sharpay is an Alpha and Ryan is a Beta who does whatever she tells him to. What better way to tell the world you wear the pants in your relationship by making your significant other learn an intricate tap routine all while you broadcast the fact that if Zac Efron ever becomes available you’ll immediately fan kick your gay brother/beta bf to the curb.
All this to say, if you are thinking of rocking a couples’ costume this year, I urge you to take a risk, think outside the box, and don’t be afraid to suggest some really absurd shit to your significant other. You’re the alpha, they’re the beta, and this Halloween don’t you dare let them forget that.